Goodbye Love
by GinnyShu
Summary: A love story in reverse.
1. Chapter 1

I was listening to old Twigasm podcasts and the lovely and brilliant ladies were talking about what inspired their fics and I somehow thought up this. Enjoy. I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer created these characters.

"Honey, I'm home!" I called out as I entered our small apartment. The normally bustling rooms were silent except for a rushing sound coming from their bedroom. What was she doing? "Honey?"

"Go away." Her voice was strained and short.

"What's wrong?" I sped into our room and saw her standing at the closet, tossing her clothes onto the bed as fast as she possibly could. "What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving you."

"Why?"

She glared at me. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Yes, I'm completely fucking serious! Why are you leaving me? I'm can't read your mind, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on!" I couldn't bring myself to step closer to her. I was in shock.

"It's too hard."

"What do you mean, 'It's too hard'!?" I watched her as I stood frozen in the doorway of our bedroom. She knelt beside the bed, packing an old suitcase, trying to make some sense out of it. She wore her torn up, old jeans and ratty sweatshirt, her hair disheveled and eye make up smudged. She had clearly been crying and I had no clue as to why.

"Loving you. It's just too hard. I want to love you and be loved back by you but I can't do it anymore. You will never love me the way I want--the way I _deserve_ to be loved. You have built up these walls and I'm exhausted from trying to break them down. You don't let me in and I don't think that you want to let me in." She slammed the suitcase shut and grabbed the handle, shoving past me. "I can't live like this. I can't stand being in such a one sided relationship anymore. It's been too long. You are never going to give me what I need because you emotionally can't."

"You're being ridiculous," I said, following her into the living room. She flew around the living room, throwing things into another suitcase on the couch.

"No, I'm not. I want and need someone that wants and needs me as much I do them. And you have shown me time and time again that you don't." She went to the bookcase, glanced it up and down. They were almost all hers. "I'll send for my books tomorrow."

I stepped close to her, gently placing my hands on her shoulders. "Please, let's just talk about this. Can I please tell you--"

"No!" She swatted my hands off of her and continued her storming around the apartment. "No! Why do you want to talk about this now? When I am already out the door?"

"I don't--"

"You don't know."

"Please, just give me a chance to say someth--"

"You have nothing to say," she said, cutting me off. She grabbed both of the suitcases and headed for the door. I grabbed her arm, anything to make her stay. She jerked out of my grasp and spat, "Just let me go, Edward."

And Bella was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update. I've have a very busy past few weeks. No excuse, I know. Enjoy!**

**All characters are not of my creation. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

I awoke to the smell of bacon. Normally, this would have been a welcome aroma. But today, anything food related made me nauseous. Drinking an entire bottle of champagne had been a bad idea. But I had needed something to occupy myself with last night since my husband was God knows where and not answering his cell phone.

And it was my birthday yesterday so I could do whatever I wanted, sans judgement. At least, that's what I was telling my self as I stumbled out of bed for the bathroom so I could puke.

"Bella, love?" I heard Edward call through the door. "Are you all right?"

I'd be great if you had come home after your dinner meeting or answered your fucking phone. I would have only drunk half the bottle then. I heard him open the door.

"Go away, Edward." My head was still in the toilet and I'm pretty sure that I had gotten vomit in my hair. "Please. Just go away."

Once he was gone, I sat up and flushed the toilet. I brushed my teeth and examined my hair. Nope, no puke. I pulled it back into a low ponytail before leaving the bathroom for the bedroom to dress in my usual jeans and t-shirt. I grabbed my laptop and opened it, checking my email and Facebook like I always did before I started my work. I clicked on the 'Photos' tab and scanned for new pictures that Alice had said she would post of her and Jasper's vacation in Tuscany.

'Edward Cullen was tagged in an album' the first link read. Curious, I clicked on it. I wished I hadn't. I was instantly assaulted by pictures of my husband with those douchebags, Felix and Demetri. In alll of the pictures he was holding a shot glass or a drink. Near the end of the album, two scantily women, a blonde and a brunette, were in all of the frames. The last picture was of the blonde nuzzling Edward's neck while the brunette bit his ear. I slammed my laptop shut and went straight to the kitchen.

Edward was standing at the stove, turning the bacon in the pan. There was a plate puled high with pancakes next to the stove.

"Where were you last night?" I asked. I tried my best to sound nonchalant but I wanted to slam his face on the hot stove.

"I, um, I ran into Felix and Demetri during the dinner meeting with my new clients." He didn't look up to meet my gaze, just stared on the grease in the pan. Something was up. "They were in town visiting a friend. I went out for a drink with them after my meeting was over and I lost track of time." He finally looked up at me. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I really am. I'll make it up to you."

I raised my hand to silence him. "Don't. Don't make promises you have no intention of keeping."


	3. Chapter 3

**Two updates in one night! I actually had this finished before the previous chapter and couldn't wait to post it!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. Don't sue me.**

I knew that Bella was going to be pissed beyond belief. I also knew that she had every right to be.

Today was her twenty-fifth birthday and instead of being with her like the good husband I was supposed to be, I was sandwiched in the back of a cab with a tiny blonde with crazy eyes and a curvaceous brunette amazon, both clad in cheap, tight mini dresses. They were currently making out with each other right in front of my face. I could see the cab driver watching them, paying more attention to the hot chicks sucking each others' faces off instead of the road. I couldn't blame him. If it wasn't for the fact that I was happily married, I would be enjoying the show more than I was.

But instead, all I could think of was Bella, home alone in our bed, probably drinking champagne straight from the bottle in her worn out grey sweats. Waiting for me to come home from that "business meeting" I had told her about so we could celebrate her birthday. For a woman who hated birthdays and being the center of attention, she had insisted that we celebrate this one. Just us, a bottle of champagne, some strawberries, and a chocolate cake. So much for that plan. My old friends Felix and Demetri were in town for one night and they convinced me to come out with them. I should have known better. Hanging out with those two always ended with me in bed with at least one drunken tramp. History repeats itself.

"You are going to love our place," the blonde purred against my neck as the cab turned a corner sharply and she was thrown into my lap. She straddled me, her dress riding up her slim thighs as she settled her pelvis against mine. Her hot breath sent vibrations through my veins.

"Yeah, we have a hot tub on the balcony." the brunette breathed into my ear as her tongue traced my earlobe. I felt my cock twitch involuntarily as her warm tongue gently flicked my cartilage piercing. Only Bella had ever done that. The blonde felt the movement in my pants and ground herself against me. Fuck.

"Yeah?" I was starting to give in to whatever this was. 'NO!' my brain screamed at me, 'Stop the cab! Get to the nearest El station and go home to your WIFE!'

"Yeah, it's really nice. You can just lie there, watch the stars," the blonde cooed.

The brunette's lips attached to my neck while the blonde ran her hand down my chest to my crotch. Her warm palm began to massage my cock through my jeans. It felt good. I let it feel good. The brunette took one of my hands and placed in on her breast. My brain shut off.

The cab came to a screeching halt in front of an old brick building. The two women gave me identical lascivious, Cheshire cat grins.

Bella who?


	4. Chapter 4

**Lemony goodness, ahead! You have been warned!**

**Oh, yeah. And Stephenie Meyer owns the characters, not me. I have no money so I'm not worth suing.**

"I can't believe we got this place!" I laughed as we carried our boxes to our new apartment.

"Yeah," Edward grunted. His box was heavier than mine but I didn't care. It was moving day!

I reached our door, setting my box down to unlock it. It swung open and I looked at my new husband expectantly.

"What?" he asked in pretend irritation.

"Um, threshold, Edward. I'm pretty sure that's one of the first things on the list of husbandly duties." He rolled his eyes at me and set his box down before sweeping me up in his arms and carrying me into our new home. He planted a kiss on my mouth and I could feel him smiling. We dragged our boxes inside once he set me down.

"Now, first things first..." He rubbed his hands together excitedly. "Which room should we christen first?" He wrapped his arms around me and sucked on my neck.

"Emmett and Rosalie will be here soon with the moving van."

"We have an hour. Plenty of time." His kisses trailed down from the base of my skull to the edge of my tank top.

"Hmm..." I turned to face him. "I think we should christen the kitchen first."

"Hop up," he commanded.

I jumped so he could catch my knees and carry me to the kitchen. I slithered my legs around his waist as I licked his collar bone and he pulled me tighter to his chest before kissing me again. Before I knew it, he was setting me on the counter and unzipping my jeans. I tugged his shirt over his head so I could run my hands along his beautiful stomach without interference. My clothes were soon gone and Edward's jeans and boxers fell to his knees. Our kissing never stopped, only increasing our need for each other. Edward yanked the crotch of my underwear to the side and slid smoothly into me. I clung to him, holding on for dear life as he moved inside me.

"Edward," I moaned. My hands flew from his shoulders to the counter, pressing my clit against him as he thrust. My left bra strap fell off my shoulder. Edward pulled it down even further, exposing my breast to him. He massaged it before I felt him take my nipple into his mouth. "God-- fuck, Edward! I love you!"

Edward moaned lustfully against my skin. This was normal. I screamed expletives and he moaned.

I felt that familiar warmth that started at my core and spread inch by inch over my entire body. I pulled him even closer to my center with my legs. "Fuck!" I cried. My mouth attached itself to his neck and a moment later he thrust once more with a low groan before I felt him release inside me. Then, we heard Emmett's trademark knock on the front door.

"Wonder how much they heard?" I asked.

"I don't care. That was worth him mocking me for the rest of my life."


	5. Chapter 5

Bella's body was better than any playground imaginable. And I was determined to acquaint myself with every millimeter of it before our honeymoon was over the following week and we had to return to the real world.

We had decided not to go anywhere for our honeymoon. Why both flying for hours to some exotic location when all we wanted to do was explore each other? So we stayed in Chicago at a hotel.

On the fourteenth day of our three week stay, I woke early. I carefully removed the sheet from Bella's sleeping, naked body and kissed up her legs to her warm pussy. She was already wet when I reached it. I gently slipped my tongue into her, wanting her to wake as late into this as possible. My goal was to wake her with her own orgasm.

"Mmmm," she murmured. I glanced up at her. Her eyes were closed and her breath was still slow and even. I moved my tongue up slowly to her clit and applied the tiniest amount of pressure when I placed two fingers inside her. As my fingers worked her, I moved further up her glorious form to her breasts.

I knew that she hated her breasts. She thought they were shaped weird, or something like that. I loved them. I placed my lips on one of her pink nipples as softly as I could, not sucking or teasing it but just letting my mouth rest there is my fingers massaged her pussy. Her breath was becoming shallow so I knew she was waking and close to cumming.

"Edward?" Her sweet voice sounded confused but lustful. Her hands grasped my always messy hair and pulled me up to her face.

"Yes, Bella?" I answered innocently, never stopping my hands.

"Are you-- did you-- fuck, I need you." Her back arched, pressing her sweet pussy against my hand.

"What do you need from me, Bella?"

"I need your...." She moaned and I removed my fingers from her. For a woman who could curse like a sailor on shore leave, she blushed at saying body parts out loud. It made her all the more endearing to me.

"I can't give you what you want unless you say the words, Bella." I blew a soft line down her body. By the time I reach her navel, she had had it.

"Your cock! I need your cock in me now! I need to you to fuck me! I need my husband to fuck his wife! I need to feel your hard cock in me!" She was writhing on the bed, her body aching for release.

"Well, why didn't you just say so?" I crawled between her legs and separated them a little further before I pulled her closer to me. The head of my penis just grazed her slick folds and it made her curse bitterly at me. I smirked at her before grasping her hips again and sheathing my self within her. I was home.


	6. Chapter 6

Everything was white. The canopy, the light, my dress. Everything was nonexistent in comparison to Edward's beautiful face. The hundred or so people weren't present in my mind. It was just us.

I heard the man in front of us talking solemnly. It did not fit my mood. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that I was marrying Edward Cullen. That I loved him more than life its self. Sober words and thoughts were not appropriate for this joyous moment. Edward's eyes were glued to mine and I prayed that he was feeling the same thing I was.

It wasn't until the officiant touched my shoulder that I realized that I need to say my vows. I reached out for Edward's smooth hands and took a deep breath before beginning.

"Edward, you are all I ever hoped for. When I met you, it was like being struck by lightning. You awakened something in me and it scared me, so I tried my best to stay away from you. But I couldn't. Slowly, as we got to know each other become friends, everything fell into place. Things that I didn't understand about my self made sense because of you. You compliment me in ways I never imagined possible. I promise to stay your trash talking friend, your guinea pig when you cook, your arms you go to when all you need is comfort. I love you so much and I am so lucky and proud and happy that I get to be your wife."

Edward swallowed. I smiled at him, squeezing his hands encouragingly. He was clearly trying his best not to cry. He looked straight into my eyes as cleared his throat and began to speak.

"Bella, there are too many things that I adore about you to mention them all. But the best thing about you is your soul. You have the kindest soul I know. I admire that about you because I know you never think ill of anyone and there are times when that seems like all I ever do. You found the innocence in me that I thought was long gone. You bring out the best in me and I will always be grateful to you for that. You said that you were the lucky one but I disagree. You found something in me that was forgotten and buried. I am the lucky one because I found you and somehow convinced you to fall for the flawed, obnoxious idiot that I am and agree to be my wife. You're everything to me."

Tears streamed down my face. Thank God for waterproof mascara. I would have looked like a raccoon, otherwise.

We placed our rings on each others' fingers and waited anxiously for the minister to tell Edward that he could kiss the bride. When he finally did, it was like one of those movie kisses where everything gets fuzzy and slows down and "God Only Knows" by The Beach Boys starts playing.

We were married.


	7. Chapter 7

"I don't want to be a bitch, but your new girlfriend totally looks like a dude."

I couldn't help but chuckle at the girl beside me. "No, she doesn't."

"Yes, she does. What's her name again? MAN-ya?" The bartender slid a shot of tequila in front of Bella, which she downed better than Emmett could have.

"TAN-ya. What's it to you, Swan? You made it very clear a last month that you weren't interested in being anything more than friends." I wistfully remembered that night on my couch. The weight of her small frame in my lap, how her tongue found erogenous zones I didn't know I had, the feeling of her tightening around me...

"Yes, and as your best friend it is my job to mock the sluts you decide to bring to my birthday party." She eyed Tanya, who was at the other end of the bar with her sisters. They were overdressed in tight cocktail dresses and sipping fruity drinks with umbrellas. Bella groaned, watching Tanya walk unsteadily to the ladies' room. "Who wears shoes like that at a bar like this when you know you're going to be getting drunk?"

"Tanya."

"Touche." She rested her head against my shoulder and sighed. "That night was amazing, Edward, but it can't happen again."

I turned her to face me. "Why?" I asked.

"Because all it was was fucking. I don't want someone that only fucks me. I want someone who--"

"Makes love to you?" I guessed with a grin.

"Is that so bad?" she asked, wincing.

"No, Bella, it's not. It's what you deserve." I cupped her chin and kissed her forehead and cheeks before lightly pecking her on the lips. I heard a huff come from behind me and turned around in time to see Tanya stomping out the door, dragging her slutty sisters behind her. "There goes Tanya."

"BYE, MAN-YA!" Bella yelled towards the door. The entire bar laughed at her. Her expression changed to one that I couldn't understand. "Take me home, Edward. I'm tired and drunk."

I nodded and grabbed her jacket for her. As we walked out to my Volvo, I kept one had on her elbow to keep her steady. If Sober Bella was clumsy, Drunk Bella was spastic.

I drove her home and insisted on making sure she was all right before I left. Once she was out over her sneakers and jeans and tucked into bed, I turned to leave but stopped when I heard her call my name.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Will... you stay with me tonight?" She sounded like a shy, little girl when she said it.

"Sure, I'll be on the couch."

"No. With me." She raised the covers.

I kicked off my shoes and slid beside her. For a second, I thought about it. Taking advantage. But that was the old Edward.

She turned away from me and I instinctively spooned her, wrapping my arms around her waist. I had never slept better.


	8. Chapter 8

"Why did you invite me to 'Porn-N-Chicken Night'?" I asked Edward.

"Consider it a test of a theory. And be glad Jasper refused to be here while you were. I wouldn't let Emmett be here is Jasper wasn't going to come."

I shuddered. Watch porn with Emmett? No, thank you. That was just asking for me to hyperventilate from embarrassment.

"What's your theory?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"That you are not as innocent like you think you are, you just need to find your trigger."

"My WHAT?!" I stood up and stared at him.

"Your trigger." He towered over me when he stood up. "You shy away from sex after only one time and it was with Mike Newton. Not that I blame you for that. I mean, you did fuck Newton." He smiled his crooked grin at me. At that moment, I hated that smirk.

I slapped him.

"I deserve that," Edward said.

"No, you deserve a kick to the groin," I seethed, collapsing onto the couch, resting my head in my hands.

"Bella, I just want you to realize that just because you didn't want to suck off Newton doesn't mean you're automatically asexual. If you are, that's fine, but I don't think you are." He walked over to the TV and turned it and the DVD player on.

"How is porn going to convince me of that?"

"I don't really know. It was Emmett's idea." He pulled a huge CD book off a shelf and began going through it. He stopped after a few pages. "We won't watch porn if you don't want to." He sat next to me and rubbed my back in an effort to console me.

"Thanks." He ran a single finger from the base of my spine to the base of my skull and I relaxed instantly to his touch.

"What do you want to do, then?" he asked. I looked at him, his clear green eyes staring back at me. I had an idea.

"Can I conduct an experiment of my own?" I asked shyly.

"Of course. Anything you want." He smiled warmly at me.

"Sit back and close your eyes," I instructed him.

"Bella?" he questioned but he did it anyway.

"I just want to try something." I carefully straddled his legs and kissed him on the mouth. His hands shot up to my waist, pulling me closer to him, deepening the kiss. I broke away, resting my forehead against his.

"Care to present you findings?" he teased.

"Experiments have to be conducted several times to be proved conclusive, Edward," I teased back before I kissed him again.

"Bella," he murmured against my lips.

I felt his hands snake under my shirt, sliding up my back and unhooking my bra. I broke the kiss and raised my arms over my head. Edward slid the T-shirt over my head and laid me down on the couch kissing me from my neck to my bellybutton. Resistance was futile.


	9. Chapter 9

"Dude, if I ever Rosie and I ever have a daughter, I'm totally going to name her Eileen."

I stared at Emmett for a second before asking, "Why?"

"She'd have an awesome theme song from birth, man."

Jasper relit the joint in his hand, took a hit and passed it to Emmett. Stoned Emmett was one of my favorite things.

"Where are Rosalie and Alice tonight?" My sister and future sister-in-law were almost always with us.

"They're getting Bella ready for her date with Newton. It's their one year anniversary. Apparently, they're finally going to do it. Alice never gets tired of Bella Barbie." Jasper was staring at a crack in my ceiling as he spoke.

Emmett passed me the joint but I handed it off to Jasper. I wasn't in the mood. "It's ten o'clock. Shouldn't they be here by now?"

"Alice wanted to go shopping afterwards. Something about wedding night lingerie for Rose."

"For real?" His eyes bugged out and I could almost hear my brother's dirty thoughts.

Suddenly, my door bell rang.

"Must be Rosalie and Alice." I got up and went to the door. "Well, fina-- Bella?"

She launched herself into my arms and sobbed.

"Bells? What's wrong?" Emmett moved over to make room for her on the couch.

"Mike-- broke-- up-- with-- me--" she stuttered through her tears.

"What? Why?" Jasper sat on her other side and I crouched in front of her, my hands on her knees.

"We went back to his place and we had sex and right when he was about to, y'know, he pulled out and tried to put his dick in my mouth. I told him I didn't want to and he flipped out."

"What do you mean, he flipped out?" I asked.

"He said he wouldn't come in me and that I was going to take it in my mouth and that it wasn't a big deal. I mean, I had given Mike head before and swallowed but this was our first time, _my_ first time, and it didn't seem right. So he dumped me."

Emmett and Jasper shared a look and went to get their coats to leave.

"Where are you going?" Bella asked them.

"To beat up Newton." Emmett said as he shut the door behind them.

Bella hid her face in her hands and groaned. "Now he'll never take me back."

"Why would you want him to take you back?" I was disgusted. Not with her, with that shit head.

"Because I care for him, Edward."

"After a year, you can't say that you love him?" She raised her eyes to look at me. "Besides, I thought you hated doing anything sexual with him?"

"You think a convent would still take me?" Her voice was tearful, but I had to laugh. We always joked that Bella was going to wind up a nun.

"A ruined woman like you? Not a chance." I joked, as I enveloped her in my arms and let her cry.


	10. Chapter 10

Edward Cullen is the smarmiest bastard on the face of the Earth. At least, that's what I was telling myself as his cool hands helped me up from the floor.

"I swear to God, Swan, only you could trip on a perfectly clean, flat linoleum floor." His voice was cold and mocking but his eyes did not match it. They were warm but concerned.

I tried to shrug out of his grasp but to no avail. "I'm fine," I spat at him. His grip held firm.

He smiled. "You should consider yourself lucky, Swan. Most girls at this school would kill to be in your place right now."

I was suddenly aware of our surroundings. Our entire high school, including the teachers, was watching us. "Well, I, unlike those sluts, have no desire to contract the syph so let me go or I will kick you. Hard." I glanced around. All the faces continued to stare at us unabashedly.

"Empty threat."

"Really?" I hissed, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Really." He raised one back. "You might be the most harmless creature in--MOTHERFUCKER!"

He was right. I didn't kick him. I kneed him in the balls instead. Edward was writhing on the floor, gasping for air. That was normal. The odd expression of respect and awe was not.

"Well played, Swan."

"Never doubt me, Cullen." I grabbed my books from my table and strode out of the cafeteria with Alice at my heels. The moment the doors were closed, I pumped my fist triumphantly in the air.

"Oh. My. God. Bella!" Alice squealed and jumped. The bell rang and she gave me a freakishly strong hug before skipping off through the crowded halls to class. I went to my locker to get my Biology things.

It was at that moment that I realized that I had a huge problem.

Biology. Cullen. Cullen was my fucking lab partner.

I stopped a few feet from the door of the classroom to prepare my self. I stood up straight (for once), held my head high (again, a new first) and walked as confidently as I could into the room. Cullen was already there at our table.

He was perched gingerly on the edge of his stool, staring at his notes. He was either unaware of my presence or was choosing to ignore me. I slammed my things on the table, making him jump reflexively.

"I'm instituting a truce on one condition, Swan." His eyes slowly moved up my body to my face.

"And what is that, Cullen?" I put a hand on my hip and eyed him carefully.

"No sudden movements and I'll be nice you." He smiled that dazzling smile that made my heart jump against its will and my better judgement. He stuck out his hand for me to shake. "Do we have a deal, Swan?"

"We have a deal, Cullen, but on one more condition."

"What is it?"

"My name is Bella." I took his hand in mine.

"I'm Edward."


	11. Chapter 11

These idiots were too easy to please.

Seriously, a new girl? That was what had them so riled up? Whatever. She was the police chief's daughter, so why bother? Chief Swan wasn't going to let any guy near her with a ten foot pole. Especially Mike Newton. Newton was on the quest for the Holy Grail: some pretty, kind of dumb girl that would relieve him of his virginity. Not quite as noble as Sir Galahad.

I growled in my mind at the back of Mike Newton's head as I saw him lead a short girl with long brown hair down to our biology room. She could have been anyone but I didn't recognize her backpack or jacket and I hadn't seen her face. I followed them to the room. The girl was seated at my table, which made sense, I was the only one without a lab partner. Newton stood slightly in front of her, as if he were trying to corner her.

"So, Bella, I know it's your first day and all but there's this dance next week, and I was wondering if you'd like to go with me. I could introduce you to my friends, we could all go out for pizza afterwards." Newton's average frame covered the girl but I heard her voice clearly as I approached my seat. My classmates were beginning to filter in.

"Um, Mike, thanks but--"

"Jesus, Newton, give the girl a day before she has to whip out her pepper spray." I slammed my books on the desk as I finally got to see what she looked like. She was pretty, but in a plain sort of way. Nothing extraordinary about her. But her eyes had a fire and life behind them that I had never seen before. "I'm your lab partner, Edward Cullen."

I extended my hand and smiled at the girl, or Bella, as Newton had called her. She did not smile back. "Actually, Mike, I'd love to go to the dance with you. It sounds fun." She was facing Mike but her eyes never left mine. This girl freaked me out.

The bell rang and Newton practically skipped to his seat. His huge grin was quickly knocked off his face when the teacher came in and announced a pop quiz. He excused Bella from the test but she took it anyway, saying that she had just covered mitosis and meiosis at her old school.

"Show off," I muttered at her when she handed in her paper first. I was always the first to hand in anything.

"Prick," she breathed back. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest and she stared through me, out the window.

I got up to hand in my quiz and as I brushed by her when I returned, I whispered, "Word of advice: don't let Newton get you into a corner at the dance. He's notorious."

She stiffened at my words.

"Mind your own business, Cullen."

"I don't think I can, Swan."


	12. Epilogue

BPOV

The gentle rocking of the houseboat was not nearly as comforting as I had thought it would be. In fact, it made me sick to my stomach. But I had always loved the houseboats in Seattle so I bought one with my signing bonus.

My editor had loved my first four chapters and had arranged a substantial sum for me through my publisher. I didn't care about how he felt about them. I honestly didn't even understand what I was writing. Something about vampires. I just needed to get out of Chicago. I needed something familiar but didn't remind me of Him all the time. Forks was out. Seattle was perfect.

I laid in bed with my MacBook. Mac. The only man in my life right now. Mac's blank screen was taunting me. I closed it and curled around my pillow.

Maybe if I shut my eyes, the rocking wouldn't be so bad.

Nope. Only made it worse.

I went down to the kitchen to make some tea. While the water boiled, I surveyed my new home.

It looked like a page out of a magazine. Alice had insisted on coming out with me to decorate and get me settled. Rose wanted to come, too, but at eight months pregnant and Emmett rarely letting her out of his sight, there was no chance. Alice had painted the walls a soft green and installed the cherry laminate herself in one day. She had purchased two big cushy, white sofas and hung some of Jasper's photographs on the walls. Every was bright and airy, flowing easily with the grey skies and waters outside my windows. The only thing the weighed the room down was my chair.

I bought it on impulse after Alice had flown back to Chicago. I knew she would have hated it but I loved it. It was a very masculine chair, with dark reddish-brown leather and smooth, sleek lines. It didn't go with anything Alice got but it was a soothing piece of furniture. It reminded me of Him. Of when things were good.

I got my tea and curled up in the chair, staring out at the bay.

I didn't want to write today, but I needed to. I could hear Alice nagging me. She read everything before I sent it to my editor. She seemed to understand more about what I was writing than I did but she refused to explain it to me. She said that I would understand it when I was ready to. I was in too much of a daze to question it.

In the three months since I had left Him, I had become a zombie. I hadn't spoken to Him, or written Him, or texted Him or anything. Well, that wasn't true. I had written plenty of letters, just never mailed them. I had dialed His cell phone number more times than I could count but couldn't bring my self to hit "Send". But He was always with me.

EPOV

She was everywhere I went. Home smelled like Her, no matter how many times I washed the sheets. The grocery store reminded me of Her. I stood and stared at Her shampoo for twenty minutes the other day. I was completely pathetic.

Sure, it was my fault. All of it. I pushed Her away. Did everything I could to make Her doubt my love for Her. I was a weak, stupid man that gave in to my more animalistic desires. I deserved to pay for it and I knew it.

Alice was no help at all. My dear little sister knew where She was but refused to tell me. I understood that at first. But it had been three months now. I need to know that She was all right. Alive. Anything. She had cancelled her credit cards and gotten a new cell phone number so I had no way to contact Her. Charlie and Renee were no help either. They told me even less than Alice would. Charlie hung up every time I called and Renee wouldn't answer at all.

I got into my Volvo and drove to Alice and Jasper's house in Evanston for dinner. Jasper had just started his Ph. D. at Northwestern and Alice wanted to show off their new house. It was a welcome change of scenery but it was going to be hard to be around them and soon-to-be parents Rose and Emmett. Two incredibly happy couples. And me. Eating dinner. Yeah, sounds like a fucking picnic.

The drive and the dinner were relatively dull. I was in a daze, doing my best to ignore the blissfully content people around me who were doing their best not to rub it in. Emmett, Jasper and I did the dishes while Alice moved Rose to the couch. As we were finishing up the last of the pots and pans, the house phone rang.

"Edward, could you get that?" Jasper asked from the sink.

"Sure, man." I grabbed the phone. "Hale residence, Edward speaking."

The person on the other end took a sharp breath. A low, smoky female voice said, "Alice, please?"

I took the phone to Alice. "It sounds like Kathleen Turner is on the phone for you."

"Kathleen Turner?" She took the phone from me. "Hello? Oh!" Her face turned white and her back stiffened. She shot off to the bathroom.

"Who is it?" I asked Rosalie. She was pale as well but was clearly doing her best not to give anything away.

"I don't know." She absentmindedly rubbed her belly as she turned her attention to a baby name book. "What do you think of the name 'Callie'?"

"Callie Cullen?" Rose made a face. I took the book from her. "Why not something like 'Ava'?"

"Ava Cullen." Rosalie smiled widely at me and nodded.

"Edward." Alice stood at the doorway.

"Alice?" She looked like she might be sick.

"That was Bella."

I froze. "Bella?" Alice nodded. "Where is she?"

"She's in Seattle."

BPOV

Why? Why did I tell Alice to let Him know where I was? Because I am an idiot, that's why. I threw my phone on the couch and curled up in my chair.

He was going to come here. I knew that He would. He was going to come to find me.

All I could do was wait.

I picked up my Mac and the words poured out of me. Before I knew it, it was nine o'clock and I had written twenty-seven pages. Still, nothing made sense to me. I would have to trust Alice to interpret my ramblings. Again.

I went to bed, emotionally exhausted from doing nothing but giving Edward my location. I wanted to sleep but my brain refused to shut up like I was ordering it to.

What would I say?

What would He say?

How would I feel?

How would He react to seeing me?

How would I react to seeing him?

And the $25,000 question, Did I still love Him?

I knew the answer already. Yes, I did. Irrevocably. Idiotically.

I sighed in frustration and picked up my cell phone to call Jacob.

He and I became friends when I came back. He showed me around and we talked about high school. Our friendship was easy now because he told me he was gay. He and his partner, Sam, were my closest friends here and I saw them several times a week for dinner. Jacob was working in Seattle as a textile artist. He wove beautiful tapestries and sold them for thousands of dollars. He had a huge gallery exhibition the week after I arrived and sold every piece by the end of the evening. Sam was a history teacher at a public high school and was currently working on his master's degree in U.S. History.

After three rings, Jake answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jake, it's me."

"Bells! How's it going? Get any writing done today?"

"A good bit."

"You don't understand it, do you?" I could hear the smirk on his face.

"Not one bit."

"Dinner tomorrow? Sam's making macaroni and cheese."

"Actually, could you guys hang out with me tomorrow? Edward knows I'm here and I don't want to be alone with him."

I heard Jacob freeze. "How?"

"I called Alice, he answered. He didn't know it was me, but hearing his voice... I freaked and told Alice to tell him where I was." I winced, waiting for Jake to start yelling.

"YOU DID WHAT?!" There was a crash. I heard him fumble for the phone. "YOU DID WHAT, ISABELLA MARIE SWAN-CULLEN?!"

"I let Alive tell him that I'm in Seattle."

"WHY?"

I was silent for a moment before I whispered, "Because I miss him."

He sighed. "I know you do." It was his turn to be silent. "We'll be there at noon tomorrow. If he gets there before then, you're on your own."

"Deal."

"Do we need to bring anything?"

"Tissues, Jake. Lots and lots of tissues."

EPOV

All I had was Her address. It was all Alice would give me because it was all Bella told her to give me. It was all I needed.

Alice got me a ticket on the first flight available out of Chicago and I was in Seattle by noon. I rented a car at the airport and drove to her house--BOAT?! Bella bought a houseboat? It was odd, but it made perfect sense. When we were in high school, we would come up to Seattle some times and she always wanted to go look at the houseboats. Of course Bella would be living in a houseboat.

I parked the car in a public lot and walked to the house number on the piece of paper in my pocket. I stopped in front of a small, grey-green shingled two level in the Craftsmen style. It was very Bella. Feminine but sturdy. Lovely and airy.

After a moment of debate, I knocked on the door. Jacob Black answered it.

What the fuck?

"Edward. Bella's been expecting you." His expression was cold but polite.

"Why are you here?"

"Because someone needs to be her friend." He opened the door some more and gestured for me to come it. The foyer led directly into the kitchen where another tall indian stood at the stove.

"Edward, this is my partner, Sam. He's a Quileute, like me." Jacob went to the man and slid his arm around his waist affectionately.

"Oh. Oh! Um, hi! Nice to meet, you. I'm Edward." I held my hand out. Sam took it and shook it grudgingly. He knew everything. I didn't blame either of them for hating me. "Where is she?" I asked. I looked around. Alice had clearly been here. Bella would have been happy with an old futon and brick-and-board bookshelves. The only thing that stood out was a brown leather chair at the fireplace. It looked like something I would have picked out.

"Upstairs. She's been hiding in the bathroom since last night. I'll go get her." Jacob went up the wooden stairs and I was left with Sam.

After a moment of awkward silence Sam said, "Bella says you're in advertising."

"Yes. I started in graphic design at my firm but I kept getting promoted." Sam took the pot off the stove and poured its contents into a colander in the sink. It was macaroni. "What do you do?"

"I teach U.S. History and I'm working on my master's." Sam shook the colander, put the macaroni back in the pot with some butter and stirred.

"That must be difficult to juggle."

"It is. But my students are worth it."

"Private or public?"

"Public. I would go crazy at a private school."

"Edward?" a soft voice said behind me.

I spun around and saw her. She stood at the top of the stairs in old jeans and a t-shirt and slippers, watching me with her huge brown eyes. She was also pregnant.

BPOV

I knew the moment he saw me that he knew.

To be fair, I wasn't hugely pregnant. Only five months along. But there was no other reason I could possibly give for the small bump. And now he knew.

I didn't even know until I had been in Seattle a month that I was pregnant. It was Jake that had brought it up. Initially, I blew him off. It wasn't out of the ordinary for me to miss a couple periods because of stress. And I hadn't been throwing up at all. And I had a tendency to eat my emotions.

Edward stared at my slightly swollen abdomen, processing the new information. He wasn't moving. I could almost hear his thoughts.

"Please, say something, Bella." I didn't recognize his voice. It was that ragged.

What was I supposed to say? 'Sorry for not telling you, asshole, but two months before you cheated on me with two cheap sluts, you knocked me up'? Yeah, that didn't work.

"Edward, I--"

"Bella, what the hell?" His voice was rough and heartbreaking. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know." I came down the stairs and sat on the steps. "I didn't know how to tell you. We never talked about having kids when we were happy so I didn't know how you'd react when things were--"

"Broken?" He melted into a puddle on the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. I hadn't seen him do that since Esme died a year ago. He looked like a lost little boy when he did that. But at that moment, that's what he was.

I felt Jacob pass me and go to Sam. They whispered to each other quietly before slipping out on to the deck. I wanted to follow them. Anything not to see Edward's face at this moment.

"Yeah."

"What do you want, Bella?" He brought his eyes up to meet mine.

I didn't know. Did I want to be with him again? Did I want to deny my child it's father? Did I want to deny Edward his child? "I can't tell you what I want for us, but I can tell you that I want you to be in it's life. If you don't want to, that's fine. But I would like you to be there whenever it's possible." Tears slid down his cheeks. Was that the right thing to say? "I never--"

"Bella, I've had this for about thirty seconds. Can I have a minute?"

"Of course." Edward stood up and paced around my kitchen, running his fingers through his hair. He stopped in front of the window. I had to resist the urge to run out the front door into the freezing December air.

He turned to look at my stomach. "Can I-- can I touch it?" I nodded, my eyes brimming with tears. Edward got on his knees in front of me. Carefully, he reached both of his hands out and placed them on my baby. Our baby.


End file.
